Midnight shower

I took a shower. It was past midnight when I felt the unbearable urge to let the water run on my skin. While the water was flowing, I thought of the scene from a certain movie. I imagined myself as the main character in a horror movie, anticipating something ominous about to unfold. It was reminiscent of an old Hitchcock film where the familiar music plays, and you brace yourself for the impending suspense. The room started to spin, and my heartbeat raced like never before. I couldn’t think of a better movie scene, so I am thinking about this one in particular. 

Back to the shower, as I am still standing there, naked, with the water running on my skin. A cold shower is a fantastic way to relieve stress on your nervous system. I love doing that in the morning. At night, I prefer to keep it warm, bringing some heat into my monotonous life. Once the water gets too hot, I begin to reflect on all the mistakes I have made, the love I have yet to find, and my numerous sins. Afterward, I feel tainted and weak. I use the running water as holy water, pretending it washes away all my sins. It feels refreshing, vital. I feel like a newborn child, or at least. I imagine that is what they feel when they’re born. Maybe it is the opposite. Perhaps I have no idea what I am talking about. But in my messy, twisted mind, it seems just like that. shower and thank God for allowing me to cleanse myself.